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Life blooms in the distance
Am I doomed to resume my resistance?
All I do is consume, sit in gloom in my room like a tomb , well at least in consistent.
What am I supposed to do with existence,
Feel I can’t trust you like a sixth sense.
What I call home is a place to be alone, Just go, I don’t need your assistance.
I’ve been staying in a lot now
Stop praying to god now.
Another day another lock down
If I could go another way than I forgot how
Looking at the clock now watch it minute by minute
Living outside my my life can’t believe I’m not in it. Say I’m still young and my life has just begun so why the fuck I’m feeling like it’s finished
Always wonder why I can’t be like you
Have a family of my own to say good night to
Why am I unable to have anything that’s stable , in the right mood no telling what I might do.
So I keep the curtains closed don’t let the light through.
I love it in the shadow cos it hides you.
Stare at the demons on the ceiling and conceal what I’ve been feeling
If I told you that I love you you’ve been lied to
Look in the mirror and I say goodbye to my youth
Don’t care what you think because it’s my truth.
I’ll never understand it but each blessing that your handed gets dismantled when the devils right behind you. Now you’re dying from what’s toxic inside you. You couldn’t make it stop if you tried to.
The way that you’ve been living you’ve been slowly going missing
Now you’re lost and don’t want no one to find you

Chorus:
I’ve been waiting for my real life to start any day not ,
but I just can’t move on.
Cant shake the feeling that I’m just walking away now.
It’s like I’m already gone

I know this world ain’t such a bad place.
I can even smile with a sad face
I can cry while I’m laughing ,
people think I’m always happy
Cos I never go outside on my bad days
Not like I couldn’t feel you
You were the only one that I could just be real to
I remember what you did, always told Me
“fuel the skid” but the shit was just to deep this time to steer through.
Now I’ve got a clear view of life in my rear view,
I cry cos I need to , I like what these tears do.
I just can’t be near you or anyone I’m dear to.
I know that you love me that’s the reason why I fear you.
Don’t love me!
Don’t look at me I’m ugly
Fuck your expectations ,
can’t get nothing from me
Take this chance to become free of me
The world I’m not in is just lovely trust me.
I know I’m being selfish but I can’t help this ,
I’m helpless,
Hell this is hellish ,
every conversation with my self is
like falling into water.
Cant swim so I don’t bother
I beat up on my self like and alcoholic father.
Should I pray to God come and make it better
like when little kids send the North Pole a letter.
Was goal setter heading for the treasure taking pleasure from the pressure putting effort in endeavours , but got reckless with vendettas now my head is like “Forget this”. Guess it’s just whatever , now or never is the premise for my story , watch me end this
I’m sorry but my friend it’s just too
Much
I can’t pretend that this is ok
Can’t be your warmth on a cold day
Yes I miss the old way.
But that old me is dead
So like this bullet get that through your head
(Get that through your head)

Chorus
I’ve been waiting for my real life to start any day now.
But I just can’t hold on
Can’t shake the feeling that I’m just walking away now
It’s like im already gone